by Stephanie
I have five siblings who have political views that are very different from mine. With most of them, I can bob and weave in conversation well enough to keep the good will flowing. But with one brother, things can get really tense.
I had avoided calling him since the last election, but I knew that I was avoiding the issue and felt the familiar tug to examine this tangled knot of emotion. Mostly, the triggers would pop up unbidden, and I would find myself in a fantasy conversation with him. Pretty soon I might shove the dishes in the dish rack a little too hard, and one time I dropped a jar and broke it.
I wanted to connect with him, but the internal semantic noise would get in the way, with its ping-pong match between old family wounds and the redemption which would be brilliantly and compellingly delivered by my righteousness. I was getting nowhere, and I felt the invitation to step back from the noise and listen to the silence. I could feel a deep longing to be in my brother’s company—just to be present. I knew that this was the direction I should go.
I finally called him, and we had a great time on the phone. I could feel a simple appreciation for him and what we really do have in common: the deep desire to bring good things to our world, our love for our children and friends, and our love for each other. Then he decided to come over the mountains and visit me and my husband. To give the meeting a chance, my husband and I agreed that we would not watch the news during his visit.
When he came, I was able to just stay in presence with him, and it was easy and natural. I got to spoil him with good food. I had indulged in no rehearsal of difficult conversations that might happen—one of my go-to places—and we were able to connect better than we ever have and talked our heads off. It was so fun.
I am so grateful to be connected to him again, and I can feel the warmth between us. It brings tears to my eyes to think of what the teachings have brought about in my life.
